To fully understand the title we have to rewind a little, around 1 week before the race I was in Iten, Kenya. My running sensations are at an all-time high, my legs are tired but not broken. I'm sitting in front of Marcus on a podcast saying my honest goals for this upcoming marathon. I think I remember saying if all goes to plan…
I said I wanted at least 2:42, based on my previous races, paces and training predictors I was confident of this.
On landing in Dubai, after Track Tuesday I became feverish and Ill, and couldn’t hold anything in my guts. It's all good I told myself, sleep and it'll pass. Fast forward to Saturday early evening, I've just had my first proper poo. The food has finally stuck. The shake out run was painful for my stomach but eased after 2km, my legs felt like stones.
My aspirations for this race have changed, I will run a marathon, I will smile, I will be honest with my effort and if I am honest with that and I am able to push through the moments that are hard, I'll be happy.
The vibes for the whole trip are unreal, such a relaxed atmosphere where there are genuine friendships, great conversations and we’re seeing the beautiful sights of Lebanon, all tour guided by Jad and Naj who have taken time and love to show us the highlights and realities of this incredible country.
I wake up on Saturday with a smile, I am happy to be here and excited to test myself. We got dressed in the dark as the electricity doesn't kick in until 7am. We have a really relaxed run to the start, I eat a banana and take on liquids, we warm up and the mood is electric. The run then starts after a clap along to “we will rock you”.
0-4km, Within the first 2km I knew this wouldn't be my best run, this isn’t about giving up too early, it’s about honesty. 3.50’s honestly felt like 3.10’s. My RPE was way higher than what it should have been. What to do?
4-33km, I had a decision, get all grumpy and annoyed, or do as I wanted to do, run as hard as my body would allow my to. I opted for the latter, Win no.1. 19km comes and I need a shit, my stomach is seizing up. Stay relaxed, focus on form, find a good place to shit, I have one more shit and a dry wretch along the way, they’re not as bad though. Win no.2. 28km comes and my heavy legs at the start are just getting heavier, the game begins. Next 1km can I run well? Can I remain positive and take in the good and ignore the fatigue? Yes, Win no.3.
33-37km, I see Jeff, he’s in it and doesn’t need words. I see Ash and tell her I love her, Focus and pure love. I see Doug who nearly rips my arm off while shouting ‘HES MY COACH’ to complete strangers, humbling. I see Naj and Afshan and ask if they’re all right, they’re both first-timers and Naj has a broken toe, perspective.
37-42km, the easiest part of the race, coming back into Beirut, seeing 21 and 10km runners pushing hard, familiar streets gives a perspective of how much longer I have to push. Is my form good enough, can I get anything else out of the legs? Yes, win no.5
42.2 - I finish, completely empty and delighted to no.1 not shit myself, no.2 did not give up mentally.
Looking back over my training data and build-up, I know where I was lacking physically, illness is something we can’t always avoid but we make better decisions to reduce the chances. I finished this marathon, not with what I wanted, but with what I deserved. I got 9th overall and 1st place in my age group. I’ve tried to explain to Ash this means nothing to me, not in an ungrateful way, but winning or top 10 doesn’t mean a lot to me if the performance isn’t fitting. I’ve spent time reflecting on the Beirut marathon. It was an amazing experience, my amazing wife, friends and athletes did so well, Lebanon is a beautiful country and I have made memories for life here. To lose perspective of other people's success and the experience you’ve gained is weakness. I am honest about where I went wrong with my prep, I have not beaten myself up about it.
Learning
The marathon is an absolutely amazing game to play
Your head is the deciding factor in the marathon
Being strong enough to accept the positives, speak kindly to yourself and remain present is essential to a good marathon no matter the time.
It is now done and I have moved on, what have I taken from it?
Fire. Grit. Motivation.
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